Songs about Dustin Hoffman

November 06, 2005 | 1 Minute Read

So I got my iTunes $10 gift certificate from Blingo.com the other day, and I finally used it to buy some music. I was gonna buy a iTunes exclusive TMBG album, but then I decided on getting some albums from that band, Of Montreal, that I blogged about earlier. The albums I got are “Early Four Track Recordings” and “Aldhils Arboretum.” They were both only $4.49 each! The former has some interesting track titles. Here they are:

1. Dirty Dustin Hoffman Needs A Bath

2. Dustin Hoffman Gets A Bath

3. Dustin Hoffman Thinks About Eating Soap

4. Dustin Hoffman Scrubs Too Hard And Loses Soap

5. Dustin Hoffman Does Not Resist Temptation To Eat The Bathtub

6. Dustin Hoffman’s Wife Comes Home

7. Dustin Hoffman’s Wife Seems Suspicious About The Absent Tub

8. Dustin Hoffman Feigns Ignorance Of Missing Bathtub

9. Dustin Hoffman’s Wife Calls In Detective To Dust For Porcelain Particles On Dustin Hoffman’s Tongue

10. Dustin Hoffman’s Tongue Taken To Police Lab Where It Is Used As Toilet Paper and Reading Material While On The Toilet

11. Dustin Hoffman Offers Lame Possible Explanation For Missing Bathtub

12. Dustin Hoffman’s Wife Makes A Sarcastic Remark, Cuts The Head Off A Duck, Places It Where The Tub Was and Begins To Growl

13. Dustin Hoffman Becomes Indignant And Wets Himself

14. Dustin Hoffman Quits Bathroom And Climbs A Tree

15. Dustin Hoffman’s Children Enter The Bathroom

16. Dustin Hoffman’s Children Don’t Enter The Bathroom

Seriously, how could I make this shit up even if I wanted to!? Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately), the songs’ contents don’t really have anything to do with Dustin Hoffman. Even so, the songs are pretty cool, and I dig em, so I’m pretty happy with my “purchase.” You should check em out if you’re weird and/or you like weird ass music.